Swamp Land

I saw a cast member of Swamp People leaving the Buffalo Wild Wings a few weeks ago. I stopped him in the parking lot, “Hey Swamp Person!” He turned and walked towards the patio where I was standing and extended his hand for a hand shake. I quickly explained my intentions, “I don’t want to shake your hand, I just want to give you a high five!”. He seemed taken aback, but we high fived anyways and went about our lives.

“I can’t wait to get back and feel ground beneath my feet. Concrete, carpet, grass, tile…etc” Archie trails off thinking about returning to land.


“When we get into the People Haulers van, I’m going to take off my shoes and rub my feet on the carpet.” -Archie

“Wow, you’ve been offshore for a while.”-Harry4

“Three days…?”-DWShorty

In the helicopter ride, I did two illegal things. 1) I did not turn my phone off or store it in my bag, but rather kept it powered on, not in airplane mode, in my pocket. 2)This allowed me to text as well as take pictures during flight.

This helicopter was much larger than most helicopters that I’ve taken. IT seats more like an airplane. I sat next to DWShorty and proceeded to drool on his shoulder for the duration of our hour long flight. This is falsified information, but I feel it adds to the story. Shorty gestured at his chin, trying to tell me that my hair tickled. I took this to mean, “you still have drool on your face.”

After returning to shore, I immediately tried to feed Jerome. No success. I took him to the PetCo to have the experts try. No success. I did get to see this:

This is a photo of approximately 9 ball pythons linked together. I have begun to dream that Jerome shrivels up and dies. Despite his apparent anorexia, he appears quite healthy. 

It has been noted that I have several nick names. One of these colorful names is “Scotch-Brite”, for obvious reasons. Unlike my juvenile self, I now see the humor and try to embrace this as a term of endearment. Last week, a co worker approached me and said, “I put a name tag up on the outside of your cubicle.” I raced up to my desk to be greeted with this:

last Friday was mine and Albert’s “controls”. This is where we try to learn everything about everything and hope no one knows how dumb we really are. Good news: We passed!! The only thing between me and my promotion to being Field Engineer (sans junior) is the elusive “Break Out Job”. This is a job that will come along which my manager deems challenging enough to test my skills. Either Lauren or Turgey will come offshore with me to “break me out”. Much like controls, the break out job is terrifying. While I wait for the perfect break out job to come along, I have been kickin it in the shop and working with my crew, MP Seven. I have been spending some quality time with Harry1, DaffyDuck, and a new operator named Pete. 

Last night we went to the shooting range again. My shoulder is very tender and blue. A great time was had by all: Albert, Harry3, Blake, Selina, DWShorty, Justin, Eyegore, Beverly, and myself. Of course, Rupert was there to insult us and call us retards.  

“Did you guys meet at TARC?”-Rupert

“Shorty rides the short bus to school.”-Rupert

“And tomorrow, we’re going to play with the sharp scissors. We’ll cut strips of paper and make a chain with them.”-Rupert.

“Laila, you look like one of those girls in movies who is ready to murder everybody!”-Selina

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