With less than a couple weeks to go before heading to Colorado for school, I decided to flee. I flirted with the idea of taking one last trip before needing to renew my passport. I flirted relentlessly, going so far as to complete a booking and let the computer screen time out. I looked up different travel combinations to get to and from London. I did this for a couple days, testing the travel reward points on my credit card account.
I first booked a train ticket from Manchester to London. Ahead of time, these tickets are a small fraction of the standard rate. After booking a non refundable train ticket, I thought I can’t let that 20 GBP go to waste, and went ahead and confirmed my airfare as well.
It’s not a habit. It’s cool. I feel alive. If you don’t have it, you’re on the other side. I’m not an addict. Maybe, that’s a lie.
That little escape has put me back home with just two days to go before I will move to Colorado. I’m anxious about starting school. I’m excited, but I’m nervous. I’d rather be in England pretending I have nothing to do but travel carelessly about.
Sometimes I think sitting on trains.
I spent my last night in London at the same hostel my sister and I stayed in a year ago. I can’t believe all that’s happened in that time. I took a train to Manchester the next day. I wondered if it is even possible to regress. Does a personality evolve in a unidirectional fashion? Does it move fluidly between characterizations like a dance? Or back and forth or like seasons?
In two days, I will be moving. I wonder if I’ll be the same, unidirectional development. Or, I wonder which period of my life will l be the same as. Will I have the urge to flee. Will I have the intensity to settle. Will I still stare out the windows, watching trees go by between stations. Because honestly, I went to the UK and my mind was blank for a week.
You say you got nothing, so come out and get some.