Last night, we all went out to eat together at a local BBQ spot. They have unlimited ribs on Wednesday. I had brisket and chicken. We invited the head of all Whataberger wireline training. It was a great time. I love that big wigs in the Whataberger chain of command are cool enough to drive down to a small town and eat ribs with some new hires. We keep it real. He commented on how well we are doing and the funny stories he hears from our instructors. He commented on our “Kum and Go” hats that the whole class wears. After dinner, Beatrice and our other good 0pen holer friend (let’s give her a name now, Gertrude) went to WalMart and got some crafts. I’m sure I have mentioned Gertrude before, but it’s time she gets a proper name. Beatrice and I made hand turkeys decorated with feathers and glitter. Gertrude made aprons for her and Big Shot Becker. They are cooking dinner for the open holers on Thanksgiving. The aprons will say “Gobble Gobble, Full throttle”. In the parking lot, we saw this truck:
Many quotes…..hope you enjoy as much as I did.
“Acoustic Impotence…” Chinese instructor trying to say acoustic impedance
“You said it would come in discrete packaging!!??”- Big Shot Becker playing on her use of the word impotence
“I do not understand. What is impotence?” – Juan, Brazilian Open Holer
“In Brazil. Big people do all the hand jobs.” -Trying to find an expression for hands on work.
“This place was so awesome!!! They had all these different hot sauces. We tried them all. We were just squirting big loads on our fingers…” -Albert was trying to tell us a story. He sometimes gets so excited, he doesn’t hear what he is saying. He never got past this sentence. We’ve all been laughing about it for days.
“Jake, has anyone ever dropped a duce in a well?” -Albert
“Uh.. Not that I know of. But one time, someone dropped a spanner into the well. They spend so long trying to fish this thing out. Like, this well was tens of thousands of feet deep. Finally, we came out with a big magnetic tool and fished it out. When the driller got a hold of the spanner, he was angry and forcefully handed the operator the spanner. He yelled at him and was like ‘You’re so stupid. This is the last straw!! You’re fired!!!’ So the operator was like ‘Alright, f&$% you.’ and walked back over to the well head and dropped the spanner back in.” -Jake
“Do people ever blame a misrun on Jesus?” -Me. A misrun is when your gun does not fire once it’s down hole and in the right spot. A misrun is very, very bad.
“No, but people have all sorts of rituals. I’ve heard of people pouring chicken blood on the gun before running it in hole.”-Jake
“Where do they do this?!!?”-Me
“Haha!! Probably Houma!!!”-SoccerDad
“Where should we eat tonight?”-Ricky (OHoler)
“Haters gonna hate.”- Big Shot Becker
“There’s this thing called ‘corking.’ Apparently you stick a bottle of Jack Daniels in your ass. People die from it.” – Tommy
“AAAAAHHHHH. What?!” -All
“I’m serious. There are pictures of it all over the internet.”-Tommy
“I’ll never be able to use the term ‘put a quark in it’ again.” -Jake
“What ever happened to just drinking??”- Random guy from another class.
“”A guy I went to high school with broke into a subway one night. The police arrested him as he was halfway done making a sandwich.” -Jake
“Beatrice’s fired. She doesn’t like Jimmy Johns or Bruce Willis. Get out!”- SoccerDad
“Laila knows how to make a mother f&$%ing meatball!” -SoccerDad
“Oh, I know! Why don’t we just do whatever we feel like?” -We all say this to each other all the time.
“I’ve been waiting for this day since my interview for the job. Sitting Indian style around Jake, arming an explosive gun.” -SoccerDad
“Yes. I have to get back to Chad. My four wives are waiting.” -Okankwo
*Edwin and Albert are unsure how to respond. They take him totally seriously*
“Hahahahahahaha.”-Okankwo has learned how to exploit our ignorance for his enjoyment. It’s great. He also has started to tell us to shut up when we are being dumb or making fun of him excessively. We’re a big family.
“Looks really good, Laila. And I’m also taking about the food.” -Dutch co worker