As I walked to my desk today, I heard Lauren (mngr) ask this…. “Is that you?” She turned to face me.
This will be a two part post.
The Davy Jones job was a huge success. As always, I learned a lot. The crew I went out with consisted of Winnie, the former NFL line-backer and now oil field hand/DJ, Justin, DaffyDuck, Mr. Boxes, and PokerFace. The dock we left from is about three hours away from the office. On the way there, we stopped at a gas station. Not unlike all Louisiana gas stations, this one had a kitchen inside and served fried chicken and a variety of other fried snacks. I ate some fries and stocked up on some snacks. Apparently, I snack more than the average bear, as I walked out with a grocery bag full of raisinettes, PB&J crackers, Chex Mix, Starburst and a Prailene. At that moment, Winnie named me “Snack-Pack.” This name stuck, and has spread to the upper management and Whataberger sales personnel, some of whom I’ve never met, but now refer to me as “Snack Pack.”
Sadly, I finished over half my snacks on the hour boat ride to Davy Jones. This rig is huge! (I realize I say that every time I get to a job, but seriously, it was huge!)
This is the rig floor.
This is the well head. The rig sits on top of it.
Here you can see the rig, the well head and a little lift boat off to the side.
Upon arriving, we sat on the boat for a few minutes. Coincidentially, It was meal time on the rig. Meal times are consistent across the Gulf: 4:30-7 and 10:30-1:00, am and pm. We suspected the rig was delaying getting us off the boat to conserve food on the rig.
“We know you got food up there. Don’t even act like you don’t have food up there!” -Winnie.
“I observed you, Snak-Pack. You were staning over there watching, out the way. Good job!” *fist pound*-Winnie
“I’m not trying to rush anyone, but this rig costs 60 thousand an hour”-Random Guy
One of the services we run is called a “Junk Basket.” It is exactly as it sounds. Run a basket down the hole to clean out some junk…
“I was kinda hoping we’d find more quarters in the Junk Basket!”-Justin
One of our other services involved 100 ft of exploisve guns. While rigging up this system, we found a little green frog on the guns. Naturally, I scooped him up and made him a habitat out of some cups. I labeled the top cup “Gunner.” The frog’s name is gunner. He stayed in the logging cab for the duration of the job.
“Gunner?! We should rename him “Goner”, because I’m about to throw his ass outside!”-Winnie
“I’m on that 5 hour!!”-Winnie and Justin, throughout the job, hopped up on 5 hour energy shots.
There were several company men on this job. Some of them were nicer than others. One CompanyMan sat in the logging cab with me and called me “baby girl”. My crew all took notice of this and proceeded to make fun of me the rest of the job. This same company man was actually pretty cool. At one point, the Galley claimed to be ‘out of candy’. This made Winnie, Justin, and myself very distraught. BabyGirlCoMan then picked up his walkie talkie, “Rig Floor?”…”Yes sir.”…”Can we see if somebody can bring us some snacks to the wireline unit??”. Moments later, a rig hand shows up at the door with a sack full of chips and candy.
Another company man was named Clifford the Big Red Dog. He previously worked for Whataberger for 30 years. Now his job is to hang out on the rig and make the Whataberger service hands’ lives miserable. I shall explain. Whataberger is trying to integrate a new data aquisition software into the field. I have only learned this software. Older, more experienced engineers prefer to use the older software, as it is more reliable and no one is trying to “experiment” on a rig that costs a quarter million a day to operate. It was determined that I would go on this job and run some services using the newer software, with supervision from the older engineers who are responsible for the job. During one of the services, I decided to take a couple hour nap in the logging unit. During this time, CiffordtheBigRedDog comes in. He taps me on the shoulder and says “go grab a bunk.” I am hesitant at first, as he is demanding, and I am groggy. I look over at PokerFace, who says to CiffordtheBigRedDog “She is running the system and just taking a nap.” CliffordtheBigFatDog replies to him “Are you the engineer?” PokerFace says “yes.” CliffordtheFatDog demands again “Please, go grab a bunk”. And so… I was ousted from the logging unit and we were banned from running the new software.
After procuring a two hour nap in my bunk, PokerFace wakes me up to say “I need to make a print on [thenewsoftware]”. I go back in to the logging cab to save the day. We begin our depth shift process. Normally, the Whataberger engineer sits with a correlation log and makes depth adjustments with the CoMan witnessing and aproving. In this scenario, CliffordFatcoMan sat with the correlation log hidden, and barked orders to us. This is not only unconventional, but confusing. After the last of his commands, CliffordRedDog leaves the logging unit.
Later on….. Mr.Boxes was running the explosives section of the job. CliffordTheBigRedDog returned to dictate/witness this portion as well. I came in to the logging unit to observe and learn. Mr.Boxes says “No, you have to go to bed!!” Everyone laughes, except for Clifford. I say, “I would like to stay. I’ll just stand in the corner and be out of the way.” CliffordBigRedDog did not seem pleased, but I was not leaving.
Before firing the plug, Clifford requests a moment with Mr. Boxes. He says, “Listen, we have invested a lot of blood sweat and tears into this well. I would like to touch him (otherCoMan), and have him touch you. You will fire it with all our hands layed on each other.” And so- the job was completed.
“I’m serious, I’ve had two of three of them die on me.” BabyGirlCoMan, concerned that CliffordBigRedDog was not snoring in his sleep.
“I said, ‘there ain’t nothing left to close, brother, we’re getting on the boat.’ And we watched it blow out. Never caught fire though.”-BabyGirlCoMan telling tales of abandoning ship.
“I done told you, I’m on that 5 hour!!”-Winnie
“Snack-Pack, where you going? Are you going to the Galley??”-Winnie
“I was going to go to the bathroom. Did you want more candy?”-Me
“Yeah. Handle that!”-Winnie
We have a satellite phone in our logging unit. We are supposed to use it to call management and sales during jobs. We mostly use it to call family. DaffyDuck and Justin tried to call their wives. A lady answers. She sounds like Justin’s wife.
“Uh.. Hello. Is this [wife]?…”
“No, this is Katie. What’s up?”
“I think you have the wrong number. hehehe”
The rest of the job, we would say to each other, “Let’s call Katie!”
To Be Continued….