Africa! And Other Places

Last week, we learned about geology and open hole log interpretation. More interesting than the subject matter was our instructor for this segment. He is a Nigerian man resembling Don Cheadle. Don has worked in Nigeria, Iran, Pakistan, Oman and probably other places he has yet to mention. Don occasionally drops on the floor spontaneously in the middle of lecturing and does a few push ups.

During the class, Don looked at me and said, “You will not go to Oman, you will go to Egypt! And they will make you home country. Whateberger will look for any way to save money on you! HAH-HAAA”

Don finished ever concept by nodding to us and saying “Okee Dokee??” or “Do you know what I am talkin about?”

“Why don’t you work in Nigeria? You will love it. AFRICA!! HAH-HAAA you will love it.”

“It is easy to kill a Nigerian in Iran. The Nigerian government will say, ‘one Nigerian is dead. Who cares!’ If one American dies in Iran, the government is flying jets over there and starting wars. It is not easy to kill an American in Iran.”

“AFRICA!!! In America, you can not beat people. In Africa, a man and another man can grab you by your legs and arms, and a third man can beat you. The police will drive by and not say anything. They may stop and say, ‘why are you beating him?’ you will say ‘He’s a bad boy!!’ Police will say ‘Oh, he is a bad boy?’ and then help you beat him.”

Don is also an avid proponent of the “break”. We take breaks every 30-40 minutes. Don will explain, “A pee break is 5 minutes. Poo break is 20 minimum. It take time to get that thing out. Especially if you don’t drink enough water. HAH- HAAA!”

On Friday, I got a call from my boss’s boss. It went something like this- “Oman can’t take you. Now its between Qatar and Kuwait. You pick. If you say no, you’re still not staying in Houma.” Fearing the prospect of moving to a cold location, I went with Qatar. Don was somewhat right….

Review

Facebook has just asked me to See my 2012 year in review. It wants me to view my 20 biggest moments. To Facebook I want to say: you have no idea what I’ve been up to this year….Also, this post, along with your advertisement, is premature as we are only 95% through this year. Curious, I allowed facebook to review my year. Facebook got a few events right, but also on the list were me sleeping at work, updating my profile pictures, and going bowling. However, here are 20 moments from this year to which facebook is clueless.

1.  I almost abandoned ship when lightening struck the rig and set off the abandon ship alarms.

2. I participated in multi million dollar jobs… my name is on them.

3. I’ve been sent home from work…. more than once.

Active day

4. I became someone’s “supervisor”. They call me boss.

5. I told a grown man to “eff off”, and he respected me for it…

6. I stayed awake for 48 hours.

7. I’ve cried at work…. more than a dozen times.

8. I participate in skeet shooting regularly.

9. I completed a full calender year with Whataberger.

Hard, hard work

10. I moved… not away to college, and not within my home state. I packed up my things and moved to a different state where I pay income tax.

You never appreciate how much a city means to you until you come back to visit

11. My hair fits in a ponytail for the first time in almost two years.

12. I celebrated Mardi Gras down the Bayou.

13. I’ve been to more college and professional sports games than I have in my life combined.

Cowboys VS Eagles

Oklahoma City Thunder VS Los Angeles Lakers

14. I’ve made friends from 6 different continents. I have many new places on my list to visit.

Friends from around the world

15. I have spent one week as an “evacuee” from a hurricane.

16. I touched a dolphin.

17. I almost stole a dog.

18. I did steal a taser.

19. I’ve been offshore 20+ times.

20. Jerome.

The Coolest Part

At Whateberger, we go through several stages of training. This is by design to give you a break from your job, but not a break from work. I find myself back in Kellyville, OK for more training. This is a two-week course where you don’t get graded, take tests, or really do anything. I get to learn about new technologies and most importantly: meet people from all over the world/company. They have interesting stories and while we all have the same “job” no two locations are alike.

I met a Russian girl whose name is Lilia…. which is Russian for Laila. We have the same name but in two different languages.

“The Dutch never speak about being gay in dutch” -DutchCoWorker

I met a guy who looked familiar. I assumed I saw him here last year for training. As it turns out, he went to Arizona State University. Let’s call him AFellowSunDevil. This coincidence is extremely rare, as the company is huge and they do not recruit very heavily from the greatest university on the planet….He currently works in North Dakota, where oil and gas activity is blowing up and the infrastructure is not designed to support so many people. “People are now banned from staying in the Wal-Mart parking log, because so many people have been kidnapped and killed.”…. This is true. People can just show up to these towns and get work. However, they do not have a place to live and are forced to stay in parking lots.

“We had one operator who brought camel milk to the shop every day. He was giving it to an European engineer. This guy drank a jug of camel milk every day because he thought it was so good and interesting. After a few weeks, this guy had to go to the hospital and get his stomach pumped.”- Guy in my class. We asked him if he ever drank camel milk. “No, but I’ve had a camelccino”. This is a cappuccino but with camel milk.